I’ve been known as Roxanne Brown, my byline for more than two decades since leaving Arizona for Florida in 1999. 

It’s the name readers, sources and community members know.

Earlier this year, when my divorce was finalized – “YAAAY” – I seriously considered keeping it because changing your name is kind of a nightmare.

There are licenses, passports, voter registration cards, bank accounts, subscriptions, memberships and countless other documents to update, all requiring an updated Social Security card, hence my first stop.

Even with an appointment, I spent hours waiting at a jam-packed office. In that time, I witnessed an older gentleman doze off while sitting straight up in his chair and a woman get into such a heated exchange with security that she was told to sit down or leave. 

After befriending one of the guards, I learned all about his retirement plans and he even helped me beat a level in the game I was playing on my phone to pass the time.

And just when I seriously began wondering whether to book it, my number was finally called. 

Turns out the wait, and my patience, was worth it.

At the window, I asked to take back my maiden name, Batriz, plus the original spelling of my first name, Roxanna.

When the worker asked why I’d changed my name in the first place, my honest answer was, “I don’t really know.”

What I do know is that at that moment, my reasoning went from simply wanting to make sure all my official documents match to something way more important: embracing the first gift my parents ever gave me and the version of my first name I’d altered years ago because Roxanne felt easier.

Honestly, it’s taken me a bit to get used to the sound of my given name again, but considering the things I’ve survived, it’s freeing. Almost like a path forward.

And although I know it’ll probably take time for others to get used to it, too, it kind of feels like a hug from someone I haven’t seen in a while and I like it. 

So welcome back, Roxanna Batriz, but with a little wiggle room to see who I have yet to become.