My mom turns 81 this month and it’s hard to believe I’ve been with her for five years. It’s even tougher to fathom that it’s the longest we’ve lived under one roof.

As the only child of parents who divorced young, I was parceled out to various relatives and shuttled back and forth between the two.

When I was 4, I was shipped off to California via Delta Airlines with a note pinned to my dress that read, “Please deliver to Bob Horan.” 

Mom and I lived together on and off, but mostly visited during summers and holidays in Florida. It was a lifetime of birthday cards and care packages.

When the weekly phone calls went from “I miss you” to “I don’t want to end up alone,” I packed up my things and headed east.

My hopes for a “Golden Girls” reunion scenario ended up a bit more like “Grey Gardens.” I devolved into a teenager and she instinctively responded in kind. Slamming doors and ignoring each other for hours at a time became a regular occurrence.

I’m pretty sure we spent a few months texting from the opposite ends of the house, using emojis when words didn’t work. Her cat Baby Girl didn’t come near me for two years.

Then things got real. Shortly after my beloved auntie suddenly passed, mom’s health went downhill. She started falling and the hospitalizations became more frequent.

Instead of doing basic chores, I installed bathroom bars and set up a hospital bed. I found an estate planner, started working from home and Googled everything from “food for renal health” to “what is palliative care?” 

Aside from putting bubble wrap everywhere and hiding the car keys, I was over my skis and winging it. 

Still am.

I meet other struggling Gen X caregivers all over town. We exchange glances in line at the pharmacy or nod in the hospital. 

My mom’s longtime doctor had to retire to care for her own parent, which didn’t sit well with my mom. I keep threatening to start a support group.

We’re finally starting to work as a team and appreciate that time is short.

The inevitable has brought us closer and the emoji speak has turned into practical agreements and hugs. Baby Girl sits on my lap which makes mommy very happy.