As you read this, we’re days away from the NCAA Tournament. That means you’ll soon fill out a bracket that can win you a few—or a few million—bucks.  

Be forewarned: there’s no exact science to filing out a March Madness bracket. Trust me, I speak from experience. I’ve spent unnecessary hours trying to pinpoint the Cinderella team. I’ve pointlessly identified teams that limped into the postseason and are vulnerable to an early-round upset. 

Take it from me, trying to pick a spoiler is a colossal waste of time. I still had red marks all over my bracket. This year, I’ll be more creative and advance teams based on three methods some may consider downright goofy.  

I’ll let you know if this works. Of course, unless Lady Luck smiles down on me, I won’t be the newest member of a millionaire club. After all, my odds of filling out a perfect bracket are the same as figuring out what a Banana Slug is.